My Generation

Jan 2004, I went to Germany alone. It was the first time I went abroad. The first 2 weeks of my 4 week stay, I called home with my Chinese mobile almost every day, crying.

Sept 2005, hundreds of parents/relatives sleeping on the playground of Tsing Hua University (No 1 in China. Good Chinese universities are public - this is a people's country. So those who can get in absolutely study really well.) while their kids are sleeping sound in their dormitory. Those parents went all the way to Beijing to send their kids to start their new semesters.

Aug 2006, I walked through People's Park (check out the names of the public places, there is also people's square) and saw a lot of parents are holding a card written with the profile of their kids for match making. Unfortunately, I didn't see anyone of my age there. Indeed, who needs a wife/husband?

Needless to mention, there are many parents buying an apartment for their kids to get married with all the money they have saved in their life.

So what is gonna happen when this country was (or still is) being built by my parents generation who grew up facing cultural revolution, having 4-5 siblings averagely passing it on to the current generation - single kids with very protective parents?

'International Relations' and 'racism'

I decided to be 'controversial' for a change.

In AIESEC, it is rare to date another person with the same nationality. We are doing all we can to create international understanding and 'cooperation'. ;-) Some of my friends, who have never been abroad, not with AIESEC either, are ONLY dating 'Lao Wai' (foreigners) today - we all owe something to 'globalizatin'. One of my cousins just got married to a Vietnamese which I call 'strategic alliance of emerging markets and modern communisim'. Hehe...

I posted on the Shanghai Blog that today in Shanghai, I am more shocked to see a white couple instead of a couple - a white guy with a chinese girl (the more common version) or vice versa. I remember I got a lot of dirty looks when I was walking with a white guy friend on the street of Beijing some time back. I am wondering, do these couples today still get dirty looks? Are those girls hanging out a lot at the pubs and bars still perceived desperate for a white guy? If I am dating a Lao Wai today, do people still think that all I care about is his money?

Then what do Laowai's think? Do they feel insulted at being judged as having 'Asian Fetish' or any evil thoughts by being together with a Chinese? Then what if an Asian and a European are dating each other living in Africa? What will peole say then?

I was told that, in Europe, old and ugly rich men go to Asia to 'buy' wives. So again, you get judged by having an international relationship in Europe. Though none of those judgements or dirty looks are holding us back from dating someone different, it is indeed interesting since it is not well accepted anywhere in the world.

Nevertheless, it is very well accepted in the liberal AIESEC world. ;-)

The Chinese Sensibility

What do you believe when you don't believe in God? $$$?!

After a few chats with people around, I felt like coming out of a vacuum. My AIESEC idiologies should go into a vacuum machine. Like what Brodie once mentioned, we often take off our superman role after AIESEC. What if I don't want to?

It seems that a person like me (graduating from a good major from a good university and worked for 2 years) should be earning around EUR 2000/month. (I obviously earn much less as an AI member though living in more expensive place.) I was told that my cousin just got married. What's more important is that she lives in Singapore now and her husband earns EUR 5000/month. (How is her husband as a person instead of a money making machine?) Same with how another cousin's boyfriend was introduced to me, he earns xxx a month. Good to know! ;-) There is a Chinese terminology 'a high potential stock' for a guy who will be able to earn heaps sooner or later. And the society still doesn't believe that women can earn money as well?!

I am a bit confused: so this is only a syndrome in this materialistic city or it is universally the same just I was too carried away by AIESEC? Hopefully, I will be a poor AIESEC trainee dating a even more ghetto @er but having a lot of fun! ;-)

What is 'reverse cultural shock?'

I have always thought that I would have caught this syndrome. However, when I landed in Shanghai, everything seemed pretty normal to me. For a moment, I thought I was conditioned to live in different part of the world. I could automatically behave like a Chinese or more accurately - Shanghainese. Until I met Nicole (an alumnus now working for BAIN consulting) and she commented that I totally looked like an ABC (American born Chinese): tanned, dressed up differently.

I have to say that I lost my 'bond' with my city. Because I have changed nothing less compared to this city in the past 2 years while not living here. I am still discovering the 'human touch' of this city and trying to find a peaceful land where I can walk around and sit, think and do nothing.

Probably such needs are itself too western to be fulfilled in Shanghai. I really need to re-think about who I am and what is important to me as a person.

Has Shanghai changed?

Adam asked me this question in one of his recent emails. Here are what I have discovered:

Huge residential buildings:
Shanghai has about 20 million population and still growing. It seems to me that Shanghai's residential buildings are only going to be above 30 storeys. I found quite a lot of places looked like a 'cement forest'. And of course, if I compare to Europe, there are far less trees here. My family was asked to move out of where we lived - a 3 story house reasonably close to the city centre. And the subsidy we were given to move out is far less than how much an apartment of the same size costs in the same area. So the choices left are - either you buy an apartment and pay the rest on your own or live in 'rural Shanghai'. I read a post regarding CSR in China on @.net talking about this entire movement is about improving citizen's living conditions. However, I don't understand HOW it is working.

There is this typical architecture style in Shanghai called 'Shi Ku Men'. We have a new posh bar/restaurant area built entirely with such buildings called 'Xin Tian Di' - a must-go place for tourists and party place for expatriates or those who desperately want to date foreigners.

The irony is that on one hand, real estate investors want to build such tranditional Shanghai style area, and on the other hand, we are replacing tons of 'Shi Ku Men' residential buildings modern apartment buildings. And I failed to google pictures of 'Shi Ku Men' buildings - either the sites cannot be displayed or the pictures are all removed. Sigh~

One cannot speak Shanghai-nese in Shanghai any more:
I caught a subway yesterday and found that there are a lot of people living here coming from other parts of China. Shanghai people used to feel very superior over anyone else from China and we only speak Shanghai-nese. If anybody speaks Mandarin instead of Shanghai dialect, s/he might end up not getting a good service or not being able to get directions from the locals just because we don't like those not from this city.

However, those who are playing around real estate (especially apartments downtown) are exactly those NOT from this city. Unlike the past, a lot of people coming to Shanghai to become a construction worker or babysitter. Today they came to earn big bucks. They live in better area, nicer apartments, drive better cars, dine in better restaurants. They are simply richer.

4 subway lines already:
I used to only use Line 1 and Line 2 a lot. Yesterday I took line 4. The subway map looks a bit more complicated and sophisticated - as if we are soon catching up to be one of those world class cities - surely, we will be very soon. The infrastructure of this city continues to be the priority of our government.

I used to be very proud of being a born Shanghai-nese. Later on, I grew to love Beijing because how dynamic it is. I just came back for 3 days - way too early to judge if I still feel so much connected to my home city. I also have started to meet more people downtown which helps me to rediscover my own city.

I am pretty conditioned while residing in different places. I am so far patient with spending hours traveling on subways and buses, the chaos and the polution. Most of all, I really love eating Chinese food and spending time with my family. The only thing sucks so far is 'language' - I need some time to use my native language more eloquently. ;-)

Impressionism & Fashion in Paris

Apparently, I am not in a rush to check out everything worth seeing in Paris. Otherwise, who has so much time to update his/her blog while visiting Paris. Also apparently I am alone and have nobody to talk to thus I blog so much. ;-)

Musee Marmottan Monet was just an induction for my 'Impressionism fetish'. I am truly amazed by how 'random strokes' can make paintings which tell a lot: the sky, the lake, the wind, colors fading and meeting each other...Among all the famous artists pursuing this style, Claude Monet is my favourite. He stands out for 2 reasons:

1. The balance between the background (blur) and the main character (outstanding details) in all his paintings.
2. He dares to use strong colors thus his personality stands out through all the paintings. This is the thing about Impressionism Art, if the colors are not strong enough, the pictures turn out pale.

I also like Van Gogh since all his paintings are obviously different from other Impressionism artists. It's a shame that I have never visited Van Gogh musuem in Amsterdam! (However, seems that his famous paintings are either in different corners of the world: New York, Munich, etc. or sold to some rich bastards. ;p) I don't even know when is the next time I'll end up in Amsterdam again.

During my stay here, I always have a couple of hours to check out the shops here - honestly, fashion is not that impressive in Paris: London, Melbourne, Tokyo and Hong Kong are my favourites. However, designer brands boutiques are EVERYWHERE! Paris is indeed fancy though I might not appreciate its fashion or I just ended up at the wrong places.

Today is my last day here: more impressionism fest in Musee D'orsay. For the rest of the day, I'll just read The Machinery of Freedom. It's challenging and provoking especially when I just finished The Diamond Cutter.

Ironically in Paris

I have never travelled alone. Being in Paris on my own is such a mistake. The city is for couples. Not that the city itself is dramatically romantic or anything, just everyone here is in couples, hand-in-hand, kissing, chatting, looking at each other... I do miss someone and I don't. I guess after being single for long (very long!), I always tend to run out of a relationship. ;-)

Paris is strikingly beautiful and full of surprises. Magenificant buildings turn out when I randomly walking down a street. Or if I happen to look into the side streets, something big and old there. I keep on smiling, walkrandomly, listen to french conversations (so musical and soft), sit in a cafe facing the busy streets, stare at paintings which captured me in Louvre... Everything I can do is so captivating and joyful.

It's almost very hard to transmit such feelings and emotions. What a city! I just loved every single view of it.

I was sitting in a cafe close to the Opera, writing postcards to my friends - they often say that they can make a world map out of it. I thought that was the most French thing I can do. NOT Really. There was something more French going on in front of the Opera House - demonstration. I didn't even figure out for what they were proesting against. Oh, who cares, it is at least full of French spirit. ;-)

On the other side, sitting in a cozy small apartment which allows me to shake hands with the neighbours living opposite the balcony, is also a very French thing or at least a Paris thing. I am taking a very slow paced tour. So the aggressive drivers (who park into zebra line and hunk at passengers) don't annoy me that much.

I have checked out a few historical spots including Louvre and Effel Tower. Louvre is NOT as impressive as Vatican (ouch! ;p). However, I can appreciate art much better today compared to 2 years ago in Italy. I went through all the paintings. I realized that I loved to interpret them on my own: oh, she looks sad; oh, she died because he came late; etc. I also realized that I don't like sculptures that much because they lack colors and I cannot see the eyes of the characters. Sorry!

Effel Tower is staggeringly huge when I sat on the grass right in front of it. When it's dark, the lights are on and glitter for 10 minutes at each hour - really romantic. I felt like screaming and hugging someone to express my excitement.

Today's plan is to check out Monet's impression art as well Notre Dame. Then cook Chinese dinner together with Liv - cooking and washing are the most relaxing thing I got to do over the last 2 years. Loving the trip so far! Though I shouldn't have come at such a touristy time when there are dumb American kids every where. (Sorry! ;p)

Another new start?!

I woke up early (naturally) in Liv's apartment in Paris. Today is August 1st. In 20 days, I am 24 years old. Something really intense has just ended. Once again, I need to move on. Am I ready?

I don't read AIESEC emails any more. Not that I didn't enjoy my past 4.5 years in this organization. In fact, I do, very much, especially the very last 2 years. It is just when I gave all I had, I don't see the point of sticking around. However, I will be mentoring Mindy and Yuan - very excited about that. I am also open to chairing conferences - I really feel I should share the inspirations and growth this organization has given me.

Our team has spent the most relaxing and classy teamdays together on a sailing boat on the South Sea in Holland. We didn't care what time was it. We had plenty of time to chill. We chatted. We shared our last thoughts. We had crazy fun in a water fight with a whole bunch of Germans having a bachelor party on another boat. This is OUR TEAM - the AIESEC International 0506. We are extremely hardcore and extremely fun loving. I am so proud of us.

I didn't share much because words just weren't powerful enough at the last minute. I'll just stay in touch - as some of you might know I am very bad at it - through emails or even visits if we end up in the same corner of the world. I still remember what Monika said before she left Rotterdam in 2005: it is not that sad to say goodbye, if we want to meet each other again, we'll make the effort. Though we haven't been able to meet ever since.

Vero and me were watching the last few episodes of SEX AND THE CITY on 30th evening. Carrie ended up with BIG and went back to New York so the 4 of them can still gather from time to time. The two of us were crying like babies - for the happy ending, also for our friendship: Lanchanie, Frances, Veronica and myself. When are we gonna meet each other again? We grew so close in the last 1 year with all the hick-ups and touching moments.

The plan from today till 4th evening is to chill, especially with myself. Once again, life goes into a crossroad full of choices. Once again, I will ONLY want PLAN A, no plan b at all. But what is my PLAN A?